Why bother writing?

Why would you want to write these days? There’s plenty of AI to do the writing for you. And even then, why not just do an audio or video instead?

Writing helps organize thoughts.

My best friend asked me the other day why I journal. I had to think about it.

Why do I journal?

Turns out a few years back, when I was going through some rough stuff, my therapist suggested I start writing again. (I had said that I used to.) As I began to take his advice, I discovered that writing not only improves my mood by getting the ugly out of my head; but it also helps me to think more clearly and see things better for what they are.

It’s really hard to lie to yourself when you write it down.

It’s a process. The thoughts arise and then begin to show themselves on the paper (or screen, I usually type) then when my eyes see the writing I begin to recognize patterns better. I start to see themes and start better understanding the source of different problems; most frequently the source is myself.

As an aside, I take full responsibility for my life and my patterns.

When my therapist had me write, I started with blaming. I was either blaming everyone besides myself or blaming myself too much. You are never isolated completely in life. You surround yourself with people, TV programs, books, social media, towns, atmosphere, even the way you keep your house… all of these things affect how you feel and how you act.

One change I made was no longer allowing negativity into my head without permission. Negative news sells best, it’s survival. However, most negative information is absolutely blown out of proportion and has little to no effect on my life. (If something extremely important were to happen, I wouldn’t be able to avoid it anyway.)

When I began to see trends in how my actions and my environment were so intimately related I was better able to grasp HOW I should act to make things better.

Most recently, the trends were super obvious. I didn’t like how I was being. I didn’t like that I was no longer gardening, no longer hanging with friends, no longer in love with the town I currently live. I had quit sailing, barely kayaked, and no longer had my bees. I was about to make a home run for depression.

This was odd. I absolutely loved all of those. And still do! So why wasn’t I acting like it or doing what I loved?

When you see yourself like this, it’s easier to notice a need for a change. Unfortunately, for myself and my partner, the most obvious issue was that our partnership was broken. I had no boundaries and they didn’t know how to respect me the way I needed. Nothing falls apart quickly, though.

Over several months I began to make boundaries and tried to incorporate them as best as I knew how. It wasn’t easy. In fact, I definitely could have done a lot of things differently! But how does a person learn, anyway? By messing up and doing better next time.

I was inconsistent in what I wanted. Sometimes, I had NO IDEA what I wanted. I was sometimes more belligerent than kind. And I most definitely acted more ‘selfish’. (Mind, ‘selfishness’ is also taking care of yourself.)

After way too long, I knew there was no ‘fix’. It had to end. I cried off and on for days. I did what was best for me. And whether they agreed or not, was also better for them. (Why be with the wrong person?)

So why journal?

Journaling clears the mind, shows you (visually) what you are doing, and helps you make more appropriate, logic based, decisions. Life is emotional, writing helps direct emotions where they need to go.

Emotions are your body telling you something (not someone else).

If you can’t let your emotions talk to you, try writing them; you may be surprised at the outcome.

Thanks for reading,

Dr. Wendi